YOUR QUIZ RESULTS ARE IN:

You are an extended breastfeeding mama in the...

TURBULENCE STAGE

This means you are in danger of nursing burnout. Before you think about weaning, you must learn about applying breastfeeding boundaries to make your journey more manageable.

Read on for 3 tips to make extended breastfeeding manageable again 

 

 

Welcome aboard!

We are encountering some turbulence and the captain has turned on the fasten seat belt sign.

As a reminder, please be sure to put your oxygen mask on first before assisting others.

 

 

Watch this short video for a summary of your results!

You feel like an exhausted snack bar. So what comes next?

Every nursing journey looks different.

 

The path that has led you here may have been smooth, or perhaps you had some turbulence in the first months with engorgement, clogged ducts, and maybe even mastitis.

 

You have managed to introduce solids, survive months of red eye nursing sessions, and have celebrated a birthday (or two… or three!).

 

You have accomplished a lot!

 

And that is something to celebrate. 

But you are also in danger of major burnout mama.

 

You strive to apply gentle parenting skills, but don’t know how to respond to your child’s big emotions - especially when they are losing their minds because you tried to tell them “no” to the boob.

 

You don’t want to yell, and their yelling is totally triggering you, so the easiest option is to give in and nurse them (even though in the back of your mind you know it’s only reinforcing the behavior you’re trying to stop).

 

Like many other extended nursers, you are probably co-sleeping and can't figure out how to get your little boob barnacle off during the night.

 

Seeing nursing as the problem, you may be getting suggestions from others to wean - but you know that weaning won’t solve it all; it will only take away the one super power parenting tool you have. 

 

Even your well-meaning partner may think weaning is the solution so that their child won’t scream, “I want mama!” anymore.

 

I’m here to tell you that this is NOT the time to wean...

 

It's time to start setting some breastfeeding boundaries.

 

"Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously" ~ Prentis Hemphill

Learn More

I know that’s easier said than done, but I also know that you are an amazing parent who is ready to learn some new skills to bring your nursing relationship back to the loving space -

 

The one with the sweet snuggles, quiet moments together, and joy of being with your child. The sweet spot of toddler nursing!

 

And while this may not be the exact time to wean, beginning to set boundaries with a demanding toddler who is nursing on-demand is actually the first step in the weaning process, so once things get back into control, you will be able to make the best decision about when to fully end your nursing journey.

 

Below are 3 tips to help you make breastfeeding (and life) more manageable.

 

Heck, dare I say, you may even enjoy nursing again!

Decide when YOU want to nurse

 

Chances are you say “not yet,” “later,” “in a little bit,” to your toddler so many times a day you can’t even count. 

 

You want a break. You want them to stop asking for milk all the time. 

 

But by giving them vague answers, you actually are exacerbating the problem because they are not able to understand when “later” is. So they will continue to ask, “is it later yet?”

 

The solution to this is to create a nursing schedule that first and foremost works for YOU. How many times a day do you want to nurse? When are you most likely to be able to have regular nursing sessions each day? In the morning? After daycare pick up? Mid-day between meals?

 

Once you know when you want to nurse, it will be easier to relay that information to your child. “It’s not time to nurse right now. You can have milk at naptime.”

 

Using specific points in the day that they are familiar with will also reduce their anxiety about when they can have milk, further reducing their need to ask for it.

 

Ultimately, setting limits on when they can nurse is a form of self-care that you need right now!

 

Assess your big emotions about their big emotions

 

Do you keep nursing to regulate their big emotions, or your own?

 

Oof. That’s some real talk for ya.

 

When you get overstimulated by their big upsets, you may go back to nursing as a way to reduce the noise and just get a moment of peace and quiet.

 

I know that’s what I used to do (but I was not fully aware of it at the time!).

 

The first step is to acknowledge this and recognize that it is okay if they cry. 

 

Toddlers are different creatures than infants. An infant won’t get upset if you give them the green plate instead of the blue plate, but a toddler will - and will most likely throw it on the floor in protest (I may be working from personal experience here)...

 

Toddlers do not yet have the ability to fully regulate their emotions, so here comes that idea of co-regulation.

 

In an ideal world, you were raised by emotionally intelligent parents who taught you how to be grounded in your own feelings and the ability to detach from other’s big feelings to recognize that they aren’t your own.

 

Then you would naturally be able to stay calm in the tantrum storm, allowing your child to co-regulate with you.

 

But the reality is most of us who are currently trying to do this gentle parenting thing weren’t raised that way at all, so we’re flying by the seat of our pants trying to figure out what to do besides yell, “Stop Yelling!”.

 

Because when you’re in turbulence, it probably means you are co-regulating to their emotional state, rather than them to yours.

 

This of course cannot be fixed overnight, but having awareness and reflecting on this can lead to big “ah ha” moments. 

 

When you can keep your own emotions in check, it will be easier to hold boundaries. And if all else fails, ear plugs are life savers to regulate your own sensory overload so you can help them regulate theirs.

 

But just remember, your job as a toddler parent is not to stop their big emotions, but to help them through it.

 

Learn new parenting strategies to use alongside nursing

 

One of the most common struggles I hear about from extended nursers in turbulence is that they don’t know other ways to soothe their child besides the boob.

 

Can you relate?

 

I know I can. It was such a powerful tool for me that I re-latched Avery once Luca was born so I could tandem nurse because I literally didn’t know how to parent without it!

 

I totally planned to continue nursing them both for years, but then Luca threw me a curve ball and weaned at 4 months. I had to learn other parenting strategies fast because he clearly had no interest in the boob.

 

By learning new strategies NOW you can begin to practice them and your child can begin to learn that they can still have YOU even if they can’t have milk.

 

Because the reality is, they most likely are seeking connection with you when they ask for milk, and they know it’s the only way right now to get your complete attention.

 

A great starting strategy is to simply play. 

 

“Really, that’s it?” you ask.

 

Yes, but play with purpose. Give your child your full attention for a set amount of time - 10 minutes max. No cell phone, no multitasking, no “just a minute” or “I’ll be right back.”

 

Look them in the eye and say, “It’s not time for milk, but I really want to spend time with you. What do you want to play?”

 

It seems very counterintuitive to offer play to a child who is screaming because they didn’t get what they want, especially if you were punished for that behavior as a kid.

 

Try opposite action. Give them a hug, acknowledge they want milk NOW, but that it’s not time {aka, hold the boundary} and ask if they want to play instead.

 

In that way, you replace the milk, not the love.

 

 

Meet Erin

Hey there! My name is Erin Harris and I am a virtual lactation educator and creator of Nursing Mamas. I combine my two Master's Degrees in Health and Family Communication, lactation knowledge, and personal nursing experience to focus on the parent-toddler nursing relationship. 
 
Specifically, I help extended breastfeeding parents who are struggling with the transition from on-demand infant nursing to the demanding toddler breastfeeding phase.
 
I live in Costa Mesa, CA with my husband Scott, and 2 children, Avery and Luca. Last, I am a veteran chestfeeding, tandem nursing, pumping, and supplementing mama of 4 ½ years!

AND NOW FOR THE ENCORE...

 
Based on the results you received on this quiz, you may be in need of additional support to get out of turbulence and back to the smooth nursing journey that has more love than burnout. 
 
A great place to start is with my $29 Basics of Breastfeeding Boundaries recorded mini-course.
Woman nursing her toddler while looking at a laptop

 

In this 20 minute session, I break down:
1. Why breastfeeding boundaries are not only appropriate, but necessary for toddlers
2. Strategies to figure out which boundaries are the best for you at this moment based on the struggles you are having with your child
 
Example boundaries include:
- Choosing the number of nursing sessions you have per day
- Teaching your child how to respect your body in order to get milk
- Deciding where nursing is acceptable
- and more!
 
The Basics of Breastfeeding Boundaries is meant to help you take action NOW so you can get out of the storm and back to blue skies as far as the eye can see.
 
 
FOR BEING A QUIZ TAKER, BE SURE TO USE THE CODE "QUIZ" TO GET $10 OFF! 
 
 
For only $19, you can be on your way to less frustration and burnout, and more love and joy with your child again.
 
If this is for you, you can purchase it now 
 

 

The Basics of Breastfeeding Boundaries

 

This mini-course is intended for parents breastfeeding beyond 1 year who are struggling with the transition from on-demand nursing to nursing with loving boundaries as a solution to reducing burnout without having to wean.

 

The course teaches:

- Why toddlers need limits

- The transition from on-demand nursing to breastfeeding with loving boundaries

- Example boundaries to implement

WHERE TO GO FROM HERE

I am glad to have you with us on board this flight. Thank you for choosing Nursing Mamas - I am happy to be part of your extended nursing journey!

 

I’m not just gonna tell you what type of extended nursing mama you are, give you a few tips, and peace out. I’m here to help you have the smoothest transition possible so you can keep on cruising.

 

Keep an eye on your inbox (including your spam/promotions tab) because I’ll be coming at you with more of my best tips, tricks, and practices so that you can feel confident - and even excited about toddler nursing.

 

And if you just can’t wait until then, jump on over to Instagram and follow me @erin.nursingmamas. I love hearing from quiz takers - DM me your results!